Guilt

I volunteer for a website that reviews books and music. I moved from simply reviewing items to be a part of requesting the items. During the schoolyear, as I'm teaching, I didn't really make time for it and I thought that now that it was summer, I'd make more requests. And so I sent off my requests, and now I've been told off for not doing things properly.


In my defense, I was never given any guidelines, but now I'm left with a stack of books sent to me that serve no purpose since they were published over 6 months ago, and therefore I could write the most insightful and witty reviews of the books, but no one would ever see them. Should I send them back? Do I keep them and just pretend it's OK that the publisher will now never get their books reviewed

And is it OK for me to be defensive because I was never told the right way to do things? That is my go to move for confrontation, and I suppose anyone's really. Our egos are such that it can be hard to take criticism. And instantly all the reasons that we're right and the other person is wrong are clear and obvious to us.

In this case, I suppose it is more of me not knowing the right way to do something. And so it's simply someone providing guidance for future efforts, and not completely a criticism. But hearing that I've done something not right, whether I should have known better or not, leaves me feeling slightly ill. As though I've finished my third plate at an all you can eat pizza buffet. Not enough to cause any actual damage, but enough to feel bad (physically or otherwise) for a day or so.

Chia Obama

Somehow this seems inexplicably wrong. It goes beyond kitsch to ridiculous and from ridiculous, the idea teeters dangerously on offensive. Was there a Chia Bush? It seems to be trivializing and mocking. Or am I being overly sensitive?

The "Happy" Obama isn't the only option. There is a "Determined" Obama with a serious expression on the clay pot face.

Can anyone be made into a Chia? It could be a commemoration or a memorial. Don't just leave flowers at a loved one's grave, order a custom Chia pet. You'll be able to honor their memory while strangers will know what your loved one looked like in life. Assuming your loved one had an orange-y clay face and green and leafy hair.

Father's Day

It's Father's Day! A day to celebrate our fathers and all that they do. I sent $10 in honor of my dad to Nothing But Nets, one of his favorite charities. The $10 will buy 1 bed net for a child in Africa, and it will help prevent the spread of Malaria. Interested? http://www.nothingbutnets.org/.

I also sent him a book by Bill Bryson, one that he had started reading while he and my mom were visiting me. I did all that I could to make my gift special, to make it enough. Any one of the things would have been fine. And really, thinking about it, a card or even an e-card and a call would have been appreciated. But I'm trying to do something special, something unique, something...enough.

Through no purposeful intent or conscious awareness, and due, I imagine, to his own upbringing, my dad (along with my mom in smaller part) created an atmosphere where perfect was the only thing truly approved.

When my brothers and I spoke about our grades in school, we were told to do our best. But if we didn't get an "A", then we weren't doing our best. I agonized in high school over a class that I

knew I'd get a "B" in. I wanted to drop the class.

I found out later that when my father was younger, he would drop college classes if he thought he wouldn't be able to get an "A" in the class. So it isn't as though the trend in the family started with him. And in many ways, I'm sure that the two of us are alike, and yet, it's not something that I feel.

It's often said that there is a special relationship between fathers and daughters, and it makes me sad to know that he and I don't have a strong or open relationship. With the burden of perfection (unconsciously perceived, if not actively created) it can be impossible to be who you truly are: someone imperfect and flawed and yet for that imperfection and for those flaws, all the more interesting and unique.

Quang Tri province in Vietnam

The Quang Tri province in central Vietnam was home to some of the fiercest and deadliest fighting during the Vietnam war. The region is near the demilitarized zone that separated North and South Vietnam. The area was fire bombed during the war and it has faced some of the heaviest bombing in history. The land was stripped of vegetation and seemingly in its place are hundreds of landmines. Once a week, now in the 21st century, someone is injured or killed from a landmine in the area.

Those who live there are a part of the ethnic minority in Vietnam and have been largely ignored. The traditional farming practices are impossible since much of the land still contains landmines and unexploded ordinance.

SalaamGarage is planning a trip in January 2010 to work with local NGOs in cleaning up the area and spreading the word through a variety of media - print, blog, film, photo, etc.

I Chop Some Parsley...

A poem by Billy Collins that hangs in the Douglass Writing Center, which means that I've looked at it for a total of 2/3 of a year, at least 200 days. I don't know what it is, but it's crystal clear with great depth.


I Chop Some Parsley While Listening To Art Blakey's Version Of "Three Blind Mice"

And I start wondering how they came to be blind.
If it was congenital, they could be brothers and sister,
and I think of the poor mother
brooding over her sightless young triplets.

Or was it a common accident, all three caught
in a searing explosion, a firework perhaps?
If not,
if each came to his or her blindness separately,

how did they ever manage to find one another?
Would it not be difficult for a blind mouse
to locate even one fellow mouse with vision
let alone two other blind ones?

And how, in their tiny darkness,
could they possibly have run after a farmer's wife
or anyone else's wife for that matter?
Not to mention why.

Just so she could cut off their tails
with a carving knife, is the cynic's answer,
but the thought of them without eyes
and now without tails to trail through the moist grass

or slip around the corner of a baseboard
has the cynic who always lounges within me
up off his couch and at the window
trying to hide the rising softness that he feels.

By now I am on to dicing an onion
which might account for the wet stinging
in my own eyes, though Freddie Hubbard's
mournful trumpet on "Blue Moon,"

which happens to be the next cut,
cannot be said to be making matters any better.

80 Button Projects - my post on Feminist Review.com

Originally published on FeministReview.com on Thursday, June 11, 2009

Button It Up: 80 Amazing Vintage Button Projects for Necklaces, Bracelets, Embellishments, Housewares, & More
By Susan Beal
Taunton Press

As a child, I remember marveling at the quart jar full of old buttons at my grandmother’s house; I would pour them out onto the floor and separate out the ones that I thought were the prettiest. Twenty some years later, and I find myself wishing for that quart jar as I read Button It Up: 80 Amazing Vintage Button Projects for Necklaces, Bracelets, Embellishments, Housewares & More by Susan Beal.

The book is divided into sections by project type: two on jewelry (my favorites: the button link necklace and button cuffs), one on housewares (I’m planning on making the dinner party set for a present) and one on accessories, embellishments and gifts (the button stationery is super cute).

Though it isn’t just a how-to book; the first chapter is an interesting one on the history of buttons. Yes, I realize that it may sound unexciting, but I hadn’t before realized how much the style and design of buttons changed with the times: from the black jet beads popularized by Queen Victoria’s mourning dresses to the historical souvenir buttons of World’s Fairs and movies in the middle of the 20th century.

As a teacher of technical writing (not as boring as it sounds), I was impressed by the readability and clarity of the directions on the projects. The steps are written specifically. Unlike some craft books, this one has an image for every project on facing page. There is no searching for what the project should look like..................(Finish reading at: http://feministreview.blogspot.com/2009/06/button-it-up-80-amazing-vintage-button.html)

Beauty found in a pair of shoes

This photograph by Philip Newton is absolutely stunning, and I want those shoes! I like the juxtaposition between the pretty satin pink and the wellies! Simply lovely! They just make me happy.

Look at his other work: http://www.philipnewtonphoto.com/. How stunning!

I don't know what it is about shoes; I can never have enough of them. I try and arrange them by function and I've tried to cut back on my consumption. For example, I don't need any more casual trainer type shoes because I have my Converses. I don't need any more black ballet flats, because, let's see, I have 4 pairs of them. Hmmm....

I adore shoes like these lovely pink ones, and I did have a ballet style pair of heels with blue and black ribbons that tied around my ankle. I wore them to the graduation my boyfriend (at the time) back in 2005. And I brought a pair of flip flops as back up, because I couldn't make it through the day with the shoes on. So I'm trying to simply appreciate beautiful shoes when I see them, whether they're being worn or in photos as the one above, and not have to own them.