Craving

For awhile now, I've had a craving for wavy lays and ranch dressing. About a week ago, I indulged, bought a package and some dressing and I have had a plateful of chips and dip everyday since. It's a bit distressing to realize that I have almost finished a bag of chips and an entire can of dip by myself. Ah well. Hopefully after this, my cravings will switch to carrots and celery, though I have my doubts! I've never been one for actively eating healthy food. I think that it's ideal, I know that it's better for me, and yet, it's easier to get something fast.

I wonder if it is me just holding myself back, taking the path of least resistance. It is easier to dump out some chips as compared to cooking something healthy with multiple ingredients. Part of me wonders at the point of making an elaborate meal when it's just me and I subsist just fine on pasta, cereal, and sandwiches. Another part wonders why I balk at investing time, money and energy in myself. Feeding myself better would make me healthier, prolong my life, give me personal satisfaction in making something for myself, and yet I return to the bag of chips.

I have been thinking about change recently. I don't mind where I work, but it's not where I want to work forever. I don't mind where I live, but I don't want to live here forever. But without action, I will be here forever. I will be eating wavy lays dipped in ranch dressing, foregoing an actual meal as long as I let myself.

I have a coffee mug with the Thoreau quote: Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. How is it that we have to be reminded of this? Why is it such a struggle? Or perhaps it's just me.