750 Words

I have started dabbling with the website 750words.com. It comes from the idea of the artist's pages - that if you write three pages in the morning, every morning, without stopping and without thinking, then you get a chance to look into your subconscious and you get to cleanse yourself of your thoughts. It is also meant to help you do other writing and creating, by writing three pages without thought or concern, then you have more freedom to do other forms of creating - a way to combat writer's block.

Another nifty little feature of this particular website is that it analyzes your writing. And today, my writing was: introverted, negative, uncertain and thinking. I must say that it's spot on. I have to sign, or not sign, my lease today on my studio apartment. I must say that I do love my little place. I have it fixed up and decorated to my liking, and it's just me. I don't have to worry about crazy roommates, etc. But I wish that I could just pick up my apartment and move it somewhere else. I live in a city that I don't particularly like and work at a job that I don't feel passionate about. Yet, I have no idea as to what I would do if I were to leave. And I would have to figure that out in the next 36 hours, before my lease has to be extended. I have to sign a year lease, there is no month to month option or 6 month option.

I have some ideas as to what I would do over the summer, and yet, that all involves traveling and spending money. It doesn't seem particularly responsible or sensible to leave with no idea whatsoever as to what I would do. While I know that sometimes things shouldn't be planned, etc., I also know that having to move back in with my parents because I've run out of money, isn't a smart option either. So I want to be smart about things, but thinking of staying here for another year seems exhausting. But I don't have any idea of where I would want to go or what I would want to do if I left.