Curtains

I have finally moved into my own little apartment. And not counting the downstairs neighbor who blasts the most horrible music when I use my sewing machine and the no air conditioning, it's not bad.


Though I was woken up this morning by the crash of my curtains (curtain rod included) falling to the floor. Venetian blinds are installed in every window, and they are in no way lightproof. It wouldn't be a big deal if the safety light for the building wasn't right outside my window. So after much effort, I managed to find curtains that blocked out the light and finally let me sleep!


Part of that task was getting a tension curtain rod because I didn't want to do any drilling or hammering (this also raises the wrath of my idiot neighbor; I hung one picture with a grand total of four bangs of the hammer that resulted in two hours of the world's worst music. How is that quid pro quo?!). And now, part of the window drywall chipped off, causing the curtains to fall and part of the wall to come with it. My task today will be finding hooks to rehang the curtains. Wish me luck!

On a side note, I found these beautiful etsy items searching for "curtains".





Clockwise from top left:

• antique handloomed LILAC BLUE roll curtains roman SHADES slipcover 13.11y by http://grainsack.etsy.com/
• Vintage Curtain Tie Back Assemblage Necklace No. 02 by http://chezmichellelouise.etsy.com/
• Urban Ruin compost dyed silk scarf natural dyes 020108 by http://girlwithasword.etsy.com/
• Aqua/Ivory Damask Linen Drape 50in X 108in by http://avecdieu.etsy.com/
• The Night Breeze - Necklace in Fine Silver by http://daisyjanedesigns.etsy.com/
• And then there was light - 8X8 signed fine art photograph by http://janeheller.etsy.com/

Tears

Two days ago, I made three of my students cry. This was in a class with six students, so I made 50% of my students cry. In my defense, it was for being understanding and asking them how they were doing and wanting to hear more about their hopes and their stress. (At least I hope that it was an OK reason to make them cry!) To be fair, and bless their hearts, I could probably make them cry based upon their English skills. Honestly, it hurts to read some of their assignments.

There was “Jessica”, whose mother is battling cancer and who feels that she needs to be perfect. There is “Eleanor”, who feels overwhelmed and stressed with the amount of work she has to do, and feels that she will never be able to be the student she thinks she should be. And there is “Jennifer”, who is abysmally failing math, and she has two older brothers who did well in math. She feels that if she has to succeed, and puts so much in the idea that she’ll fail and not be as good as the were, that she actually does fail.

I did my best to comfort and reassure them. I found myself saying things that I wish I could have been told. Telling Jessica that her parents already think she’s perfect, and so she doesn’t have to worry about anything. Eleanor was told that as long as she keeps working day by day, she’ll get to where she wants to be. And poor Jennifer, I asked her what she was good at that her brothers weren’t. She said she’d never thought about it.

My brothers were very good at athletics. Brother A at track and cross-country and Brother B at football. I was not, to say the least, gifted in sports. I found it absolutely appalling to have to touch someone else’s sweat, so I wasn’t good at basketball. Running just plains hurt, so cross-country and track were out. Yet I ran cross-country and track all four years of high school. I kept trying, but not with any real passion for it.

I’ve gone back to running and working out on my own, and I can run as fast, if not faster, then I did in high school. Not because I’m in any better shape, but because it’s something that’s now mine. And I’ve matured enough to know that it’s going to hurt, there’s no looking past that. But, since I’ve actively chosen to run, the hurt is OK.

When I was in college, I remember a young teacher, who must have been a PhD student doing teaching, asking me if I was OK, at a moment when I knew I was on the verge of tears. And I didn’t feel comfortable enough with myself to be able to talk about my worries.

They seemed to respond well to what I had to say; though, I hope that it wasn’t simply because I was a teacher, and they’re used to saying yes to teachers. I hope that I’ve helped them. I hope they know that my heart breaks, because I can see so much of myself in them. Scared, uncertain, yet determined.

Aspens

When I was a child, my family vacationed at a small red cabin in a picturesque small town in Colorado, complete with a view of Pikes Peak from the front window. It took around 8 or 9 hours to get from Kansas to Colorado, and it was always a relief to finally pull into the drive. Each year, I was struck by the sweet and pungent smell of pine trees and the soft and unmistakable whisper of quaking aspen leaves.

So as I sit in my studio apartment where last night, the predominant smell was skunk (a story for another day) and the sound is of my window fan, I dream of the quiet whisper of Colorado aspens.





Clockwise from upper left:

• Birch Trees on Sky Blue- Real Texture by Kristen Dougherty Free Shipping by http://kristend12.etsy.com/
• Canterbury - Golden Leaf and Green Jewel Necklace by http://liliswan.etsy.com/
• RED Aspen Leaf Earrings w/Droplet (silver) by http://toastjewelry.etsy.com/
• Deep in the Woods 20x30 Poster by http://upcripplecreek.etsy.com/
• Real Sterling Apsen Leaf with a Freshwater Coin Pearl, Moonlit Trees Necklace by http://briguysgirls.etsy.com/
• Aspen Vase D - Wall Hanging or Free Standing by http://dbabcock.etsy.com/

The Hangover

My air conditioning stopped working in my car, and since I don't have air conditioning in the small box some call an apartment, I figured I should at least have it in my car. I went into the car shop and explained my lack of cold air problem as well as the odd tinkering, clanking sound coming from the engine. As it turned out, I needed a new compressor that would cost around $800. This following 2 weeks before that when I'd had the entire exhaust system replaced for around $1000.

So while they fixed my car, I headed over to the cinema at the mall. Considering my mood, I figured I should keep things light with The Hangover.

The basic premise is well-known; four guys go to Vegas for a bachelor party. In the morning, they wake up with a tiger in the bathroom, a baby in the closet and no groom. The rest of the film involves them gathering the details of their night as they search for their friend, all in the hopes of someway, somehow making it back in time for the wedding.

A few days before, I watched the behind the scenes/comedy tour of Zach Galifianakis. I loved him in Out Cold, a ridiculously teenage snowboarding movie that I watched in the background as I worked on my dissertation. I have a fondness for the film that transcends its admittedly loose and ridiculous premise and levels of acting.

That being said, I knew that Galifianakis was capable of understated and wry hilarity. (That combined with the fact that he can deliver amazing jokes while playing brilliantly on the piano...stunning!) As Alan in The Hangover he delivers deadpan lines with perfect timing. I'm a bit disappointed to see that he'll also be in G-Force this summer, but I can understand the desire to move into film.

Ed Helms, who I know and love from The Office, does a beautiful job as the whipped boyfriend/dentist/neurotic who *spoiler alert!* pulls out his own tooth to prove that he can. Bradley Cooper is the cocky, self-assured leader who ended up in the hospital.

I love the moment where Helms sits down at the piano and begins to sing. (I wonder if Helms and Galifianakis ever played together.) When the men headed to Mike Tyson's house to return a tiger, things began to feel a bit forced or overplayed. As they meet an overly stylized and stereotyped Mr. Chow in the desert, I begin to squirm a bit in my seat, wondering how long it was until the end.

There are only two women in the film that are seen in any depth (and depth is being generous). Heather Graham, the woman that Ed Helm's character, Stu, marries in the middle of the night. She's a stripper with a baby and a heart of gold, who seems to truly believe that Stu will deliver her from her life. The second woman is Stu's girlfriend, Melissa, played by Rachel Harris. Melissa is an overbearing and controlling shrew of a woman. And there's not too much more presented.

Overall, The Hangover starts strong, gets a bit weak in the middle, but finishes solidly. It lives up to and exceeds exactly what it seems to be: a bro-style comedy, heavy on ridiculous circumstances and light on thinking. Enjoyable, laugh out loud funny at times, but not a film I would buy.

NYC Central Park Conservancy Run

I am going to be running the 4 mile walk/run in Central Park tomorrow. I went over the course today and picked up my number. I also got the race t-shirt. In theory, I could just keep the shirt and not run the race, but I don't think that's recommended! Here are some running items I found on etsy.

Clockwise from top left:

• The Wait...8x10 Reproduction Print by http://michelemaule.etsy.com
• I Run New York t-shirt by http://Muncheys.etsy.com
• Blue Vintage Samsonite Suitcase by http://Brightwall.etsy.com
• Between the Sheets by http://amyartist.etsy.com
• 8x10 fine art photograph...trail of truth by http://kellya.etsy.com
  

Saying Goodbye

Summer has been a time when I've had to say goodbye. And as summer has reached a halfway point and is now moving towards a close, I'm almost relieved. I know that it's the opposite for most other people, most celebrate summer and mourn the arrival of fall.

Here are some etsy items found using the search "goodbye".





Clockwise from top left:

• Farewell 8x8 print by http://cassiabeck.etsy.com/
• Kissing the War Goodbye by http://thepaintinglibra.etsy.com/
• I'll see you soon, goodbye. by http://amandahawkins.etsy.com/
• Dirt Road 5x5 photograph by http://nepheliad.etsy.com/
• Goodbye - vinyl wall art decal graphic sticker by http://tastysuite.etsy.com/
• untitled (to take leave of) by http://lmiem.etsy.com/

Resistance

I've been going to the gym more often this summer. Not only do I have more free time as well as more time to kill (yes, the two are different!), I am also going to be running a 4 mile run in Central Park this weekend - the New York Road Runners Central Park Conservancy run/walk. The walk part of the name is particularly important to me. While I can average 10 minute miles for 4 miles, I always end up walking of it. Granted, that time was on a treadmill without a lot of hills (I still have to go over the route, but it's Central Park, there will be some changes in elevation!), I feel fairly confident that I'll be able to finish the 4 miles before the kid's races start an hour and a half later

There is one thing that I noticed at the gym. Some days, I just can't face running, and so I head to the stationery bikes. As I enter the settings, I must admit that I cringe a bit when I put my age at 26. Yes, in many ways, I'm still extraordinarily young, and I recognize that. But there's also a faint twinge that I'm in my late 20s. I'm not overly sensitive about my age, yet I feel as though there are things that I should have done, or should have happened by now. But that is a topic for another day.

Every time you sit down at any of the cardio machines, you have to enter a "resistance". It starts at "1" and goes up from there. At first, a lower setting is ideal; it takes time to get into the rhythm; your muscles and your breathing has to adjust. Above all, I need a rhythm, a pattern to my movement. Much of it is based off of the music I'm listening to. Ideally, the movements of my body match the beat of the music, and if it's close, but not quite the right tempo, I find it frustrating. But again, I digress.

As I get into the rhythm and begin to sweat, if the resistance goes back down to where I started, it makes the biking difficult and jerky. The wheels are spinning faster then I'm pedaling, frustrating my efforts and throwing off the rhythm and pace. There needs to be some resistance, something to work against, for the workout to keep progressing.

This is something that to keep in mind as I continue through life. Without some resistance, some friction, some difficulty, I'm not going to progress. So when it hurts (as it often does at the end of a workout as the legs begin to ache and the lungs start burning) and it seems difficult (really? there's still another mile to go?), that's actually a good sign. It means that somethng is happening, or going to happen.